Briana Inman, age 23
It’s Thursday night in Dallas Texas and it’s time to head to the “honkey tonk” bar.
Thursday nights at a country dance hall bar are a good time. Thursday is the time to relax, grab a drink, and dance the night away. Usually.
One particular Thursday night began just like any other Thursday night. I got ready with my friends, drank some wine at the house, and set off towards the bar. About an hour into my night, my friends and I were dancing the night away without a care in the world. Then it happened. A man came and asked if I wanted to dance. One thing to remember is that at a dance hall you wouldn’t think it would be that hard to find a dance partner, but trust me. It’s pretty damn hard. When a guy ask you to dance you usually just say yes and hope he knows what he’s doing. So we head to the dance floor and everything is fine and dandy until about halfway through. The tempo of the song is pretty fast and I’ve had more than my fair share of drinks by that point. I’m kind of stumbling through the dance trying to not mess things up too bad when the man I am dancing with starts yelling at me about how drunk I am and starts to slap my ass as if I’m some kind of animal he can control. Honestly I was stunned into silence. My head was spinning so I just continued dancing and prayed that the song would end soon. The man continued to make comments about the drunken state I was in and continued to grope at me throughout the rest of the song. I was so shocked and disgusted that as soon as the song was over I grabbed my friends and immediately went home. That night while we were driving home I was so ashamed that I hadn’t given the guy a hard kick in the nuts. I kept saying to myself that I shouldn’t have drank that much and kept blaming myself for the actions I took to put myself in that position. Later that night I felt so disgusting that I took a thirty minute shower in the hopes that it would just wash away all the events of that night.
As I reflect back to that time I realize that I shouldn’t have been putting myself down for my actions that night,
-Women should not have to be afraid to go to the bar and have a few drinks for fear of being drugged and/or taken advantage.
-Women should not be afraid to dance at the bar/clubs for fear of being groped.
-Women should not be afraid to wear clothes that are “too revealing” for fear of becoming a target of sexual harassment.
I am tired of living in a world where women are told to be afraid because some men don’t understand what the boundaries are and what no means.
Women should be fearless….
One day I hope to be.